PITFALLS TO AVOID

Many singles make some mistakes while preparing for marriage, and more often than not, these mistakes turn out to be a clog in the wheel of their marital progress. No doubt, getting married is beautiful; it is one of the happiest times in every single’s life. But it is important for all Christian singles to identify certain pitfalls and then, try as much as possible to avoid them, so that they can save themselves from unnecessary heartaches both now and in the future.

Below are some pitfalls you should avoid while choosing a life partner: Undiscovered life purpose. Finding and living your purpose is very important in life. Your ability to discover and understand your divine purpose will determine to what extent you will be fulfilled in life. Seeking a partner before purpose is like putting a cart before the horse—you may end up getting frustrated in life. So, pray and discover your divine purpose and work towards it before going into marriage.

Idol in the heart: This is a situation where people appear to seek God’s directive or guidance in marriage when they’ve actually already chosen someone in their heart. All they really want is for God to rubberstamp their choice. But God cannot be deceived. If He sees that you’re bent on having your way, He’ll answer you according to the idol in your heart (Ezekiel 1 4:4). But understand that this is not His perfect will.

Walking by sight: This implies that you shouldn’t marry someone because of what you can see in terms of beauty, wealth, position, prestige, and the _Also, don’t set carnal conditions like the person’s tribe, status, colour of the skin, educational attainment, family background, etc. It is dangerous (Proverbs 14:12). God is the author of marriage; He knows what is best for you because He knows the end from the beginning. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Neglect of divine direction: As a Christian, you cannot just marry anybody that comes your way. You should seek God’s guidance when choosing a spouse. You may marry somebody who appears to have amiable qualities today, but you can’t tell what is in the person’s heart because, as the Scripture says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). It is wisdom, therefore, to seek divine direction before you go into marriage (Psalm 32:8).

Other pitfalls to avoid when seeking a life partner include: having unrealistic expectations about your would-be spouse either in terms of material possessions, physical attractiveness or financial worth; engaging in sexual immorality before marriage (Hebrews 1 3:4; 1 Corinthians 6:1 5-18); having a negative attitude.

Also, avoid the belief that marriage will solve all of life’s problems. Never contemplate marrying an unbeliever; avoid yielding to pressure; compromising your faith to win or keep a would-be partner; holding on to the past; going into marriage because a prophet said so. You must not get married out of pity. Don’t cohabit; avoid forced marriage or marriage based on trial and error; avoid matchmaking and reliance on men’s recommendation.

As a Christian, it is paramount you avoid all these pitfalls before going into marriage and when seeking a life partner. God is always thinking about you; He cares and He has good plans far you (Jeremiah 29:11). Depend completely on Him and you will never have any cause to regret.

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